Australian GP: Red Bull Friday report

As it's all change in Formula One this year, with a new FIA President, new teams; a new era -- we got to thinking what would happen if some other people got a chance to run the show. This race: IF F1 WAS RULED BY... DRIVER MANAGERS 1. The ...

As it's all change in Formula One this year, with a new FIA President, new teams; a new era -- we got to thinking what would happen if some other people got a chance to run the show.

This race: IF F1 WAS RULED BY... DRIVER MANAGERS

1. The working day would start by the pool, on a sun lounger, chatting on your phone/enormous pda/ghetto blaster while soaking up a few rays.

2. There'd be no annoying practice sessions as these interfere with talking on your mobile phone/enormous pda/microwave oven.

3. With no practices sessions, lunch would start early at say... hell, let's call in brunch at 11am, extending until 3pm -- enough time to call your 'broker' (AKA your mistress) on your mobile phone/enormous pda/flatscreen TV.

4. Saturday mornings would be given over to comparing briefcases and their ability to store a copy of the local daily newspaper (you pretend to be fluent in seven languages, but actually only speak Italian and five unrepeatable words of Portuguese your mistress taught you).

5. Saturday afternoons would be reserved for defending your lunkhead driver from accusation of congenital idiocy after he drove into the back of the Championship leader on his final flying lap.

6. Saturday evening is for persuading your driver that it's good for him to sew the patches of his new personal sponsors Laxaflo diuretics onto his race suit as you're too busy sourcing potentially lucrative sponsor for him to leech off (AKA having dinner with your mistress).

7. While the non-televised part of the weekend is for slouching around in jeans and t-shirts, Sunday is for dressing up! So drag out those crocodile-skin shoes, starch up the metre-high collar of your glacially white shirt (all the better to show of your year-round tan) and work those enormous sunglasses by a Russian designer no-one knows but who might soon sponsor your lunkhead driver.

8. Monday is for lounging by the pool, working on that tan, chatting on your mobile phone/enormous pda/spin dryer.

9. Tuesday is for finding out where your lunkhead driver is, so he can drive you to the airport.

10. Wednesday... hey it's a back-to-back, time to hit the sun lounger again. Don't forget your mobile phone/enormous pda/Bluray player.

Car 6 MARK WEBBER
1st Practice P14, 2nd Practice P3

"It wasn't too bad today. Everyone's programmes were disrupted in P2 with the intermittent weather. It's pretty much the team's worst nightmare when the weather's just on the edge like that; you can't commit to learning too much in the wet and it's quite tricky in the dry as well. We had a couple of windows where we got some information though, so we have good data to go through tonight."

Car 5 SEBASTIAN VETTEL
1st Practice P5, 2nd Practice P16

"I had a drift off track at the end of the second session; obviously it wasn't ideal, but it happens -- that's what practice is for. It was my mistake; I was a bit too far to the left when hitting the brakes. It meant I missed the most important time on the track at the end of P2, but the car feels good and Mark showed that we are right there. It looks very close between the top cars."

-source: red bull

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Series Formula 1