Brazilian GP: Toro Rosso preview

The expression, "it's a jungle out there" is often used to describe the F1 paddock and not far from the Interlagos circuit you can find one of the most spectacular jungles in the world with the river Amazon at its heart. If this sport really is a...

The expression, "it's a jungle out there" is often used to describe the F1 paddock and not far from the Interlagos circuit you can find one of the most spectacular jungles in the world with the river Amazon at its heart. If this sport really is a jungle, how would the paddock people survive if that dodgy charter plane home had to make an unscheduled soft landing on the tree tops?

It's the practical ones who are first to demonstrate survival skills. The truckies begin building a three storey motorhome from the wreckage of the plane. They complain the ground is not flat and that there is no coffee. So, the catering girls are sent on a expedition to find the fabled "Illy Tree." Motorhomers set up a hospitality area in the local chief's home, complete with free hallucinogenic licking frogs for the press.

Team management ask the mechanics to repair the broken aircraft and to complete the job in one hour before darkness means the start of parc ferme conditions. However, an FIA delegate, also stranded with the team, complains they must stop work for 5 hours as a penalty for changing one of the plane's engines.

The press officers put out a release stating how well the team is working with its suppliers to turn the situation around, while hinting in a very subtle fashion that the plane crash might have been caused by a faulty engine prior to a tyre exploding on touch down.

The sponsorship manager is the only person with a working mobile phone: he takes a call offering full and immediate rescue from the jungle. He replies that he has a better offer from another potential rescue supplier, so regretfully he has to turn them down.

The team chef finally cracks and goes native. He is running around with white paste on his face and has painted his bottom bright blue. The rest of the kitchen staff notice nothing different in his behaviour.

With everyone having to live on a diet of nuts and berries, the biggest mechanic in the team is looking worried. The head of the carbon department is muttering something about cooking in the autoclave.

The technical director has calculated that it is only a 25 kilometre walk out of the jungle. However, logistics staff suggest it would be more economical to take a different route involving a seven day hike. The team strategist agrees, adding that there is a short cut...through a crocodile infested swamp.

The drivers swim across a river in search of food. The third driver is fastest, so the two race drivers drop hints they were carrying much more weight.

Having finished building the motorhome, force of habit means the truckies start washing and polishing the trees. They just finish when the jungle operations manager declares the trees must all be moved so that they are precisely 95 centimetres apart.

The biggest mechanic has disappeared. Other team members say how much they liked him and what great taste he had. Even though there are complaints about the poor "facilities," the difficulties of transportation and communicating with the locals and the lack of nightlife, everyone agrees it's "better than doing a real job" and they all make plans to come back next year.

-source: toro rosso

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About this article
Series Formula 1
Teams Toro Rosso