F1

Brazilian GP: Red Bull Friday report

With terrier-like persistence and a questing nature that won't be denied, F1's press are a force to be reckoned with, and that's just in pursuit of a free lunch. So we wondered what it would be like... IF F1 WAS RULED BY... THE F1 ...

With terrier-like persistence and a questing nature that won't be denied, F1's press are a force to be reckoned with, and that's just in pursuit of a free lunch. So we wondered what it would be like...

IF F1 WAS RULED BY... THE F1 JOURNALISTS

1. For a start, any thoughts of a two-day race weekend would be right out. I mean, come on! Cramming all that stuff into two days would mean having to get up in the morning and everyone knows that journalistically speaking, mornings are NOT a good time...
2. A two-day weekend would also mean be one less day of expenses to claim. Don't you know I've got several children to support? Just take the food right out of their little mouths, you cold-hearted b******s.
3. Night races are fine getting up 2pm is eminently civilised. However, twilight races think again. Work all day, race at 5pm, finish at midnight no dinner in Melbourne. This should stop... immediately!
4. Prior to each race, drivers would be made to visit and understand the press room. See, the unilats interviews and print press conferences are shown on glowing boxes called TVs. We don't have to be in the same room as you to hear your pearls of wisdom. Deadlines do exist you know.
5. Speaking of pearls of wisdom, in a press conference it is polite to answer in a full and frank manner. Any statement that begins "we have to wait until the melted engine is examined back at the factory" will be followed by a loud buzzer. The driver will then have to start again, with a statement that actually means something.
6. In order to enforce new press conference rules, drivers' seats will be fitted with a small electrical charge which can be administered to the driver should he mention the "guys working really hard" or if he ever, EVER use the words "for sure".
7. The phrase "send me an email", when used by a team PR in response to an interview request will henceforth be punishable by extreme measures, or at least they will lose their biscuit privileges for two races.
8. Motorhomes will be freely accessible to all media at all times... and there'll be sandwiches... and drinks... and maybe some buns.

Car 5 SEBASTIAN VETTEL
1st Practice P1, 2nd Practice P1

"I think it was pretty good today -- of course it's not the most important thing to be at the top of the timing list today, it's more important tomorrow and Sunday -- but it's a good start. The car feels alright, I'm not one hundred percent happy with the balance and think we can improve it, but it's looking okay. I think it's likely to rain tomorrow."

Car 6 MARK WEBBER
1st Practice P2, 2nd Practice P2

"It was a good Friday and we got through everything we wanted. Obviously the track was in a good condition from the outset, so we were able to get down to work. Conditions were good and we made the most of it. We're not too sure what will happen weather-wise, but we're pretty quick and the car works well in all conditions, so we should be set for a good result."

-source: red bull

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